Sailing with Children

Sailing with children has, for us, always been as natural as sailing with your partner. Who else would we sail with? With my girl-friend, maybe?! Well, I did that once, but I married her eventually. As they say: "If you need a crew, marry her!"

We often get the question about how it works so sail with Jessica and Jonathan. Well, we have not thought about it much, since we always have been together onboard since Jessica was born in 1994. But this year, it was a bit different. This year, we wanted to push our limits a little bit further than the normal coastal sailing in the archipelago.

We commenced the game to pretend that the boat was our real home, while our house ashore only was a practical place to stay overnight during the days we went to school and work and when the Scandinavian climate prevents us from sailing during winter-time.

This reverse view of life was adopted immediately by Jessica and Jonathan and the children installed themselves in their new home as if it was their permanent centre of living from now on. It became fun being a little bit "special" in that respect and still today, during winter, long since the boat is placed at her winter storage ashore, Jessica and Jonathan keep talking about their real home when they mean Regina.

Not long ago, Jessica had to write an essay in school about her house, her room, how it looked outside and her school path. You bet, she wrote about the port berth in the aft cabin, the galley outside and the head to port, the saloon and the companionway. The scenery outside her house was expressed as "varying", ranging from salty sea, via deserted anchorages to crowded cities and her way to school was preferably done by sea, of course.

And Jonathan, in his first week of school, wrote "Hi! My name is Jonathan. I live on a boat. Soon I will sail to America".

We wonder as parents, have we possibly overdone something here....?

Let me try to answer the question about how our children have become like this, since it can't be brain-washing alone. When discussing the 2003 sailing season in early spring, we did it all together and we decided to turn 2003 into "a special sailing year", where the children now were old enough to experience some exciting "adventures". High on their priority list stood night sailing. So we tried to pick a warm night with full moon and weak winds following a coastline to have several "emergency exits". The coast was all right to find, but the warm winds are more seldom in these Scandinavian waters, even in summer. But we were lucky to find a good night after all.

We started on midday on 16 July to sail some 120 miles further north. After dinner onboard under way, we waited for the sun to go down, which takes its time here at these latitudes in July. Eventually it happened, and we adopted a well established ritual we have read about in many salty blue-water books: the "Sundowner". This has now become our own tradition when on passage. We opened a bottle of Schweppes Ginger Ale, since ginger is said to be especially good against sea-sickness according to ancient Asian knowledge. A slice of lime against scurvy, and we were the James Cooks of Kattegatt! No land in sight (if you looked in western direction, that was at least) and only the sea as our neighbour. We became a team of four to count on!

Responsibility had to be shared, so I went to sleep while neither of the two children wanted to give up their important tasks to handle the boat, to navigate and to keep sharp look-out. This first overnight sail was not the time to argue about sleeping patterns for the children.

When I was woken up by Karolina at dawn (nights are extremely short on these latitudes in summer and it's never really dark), the kids had gone to bed long ago and I was left on my night-watch by myself.

I love these moments for myself onboard. The stars, the boat, life and me. Nobody else awake. Isn't it too seldom you are by yourself these days? Alone with your thoughts in peace.While being unified with universe your fantasy starts moving. Eternity becomes your neighbour, while your beloved ones are safely under deck sleeping through the waves. As an engineer, I can still feel the satisfaction when the beauty of a perfect system in balance is present.

Here, it was definitely the case.

Jessica at the cozy time of "sun-downer" in front of our glasses with Ginger Ale

Karolina and Jessica at "night watch" in the light night of Scandinavia

I remember another night sailing later during the summer. This time from the northernmost tip of Denmark: Skagen. We left in the late afternoon to sail westbound in direction southernmost tip of Norway: Mandal. We prepared for a nice overnight sail, when suddenly Jonathan was asking what this big "land" was on the radar, where there shouldn't be any.

I explained to him that this actually was no land but a cloud containing rain drops. Proudly I showed him the rain clutter feature on the radar and played around with the electronic device, when Karolina just asked what we should do with that cloud, since it looked to come closer. Well, that was a good point! Jonathan and I were so into pushing all buttons and playing around with the radar, so we almost forgot what we were looking at.

Again, I had a great solution: I called the meteorologist on the VHF, one of the offered services included in our license fee. From my flying time I was used to get personal weather advice as a pilot, so asking some metorogical questions about intensity and movement of the Cb-cloud ahead of us was an easy and fun task bringing back some flying memories. On the meteorologist's radar overseeing half Europe she was able to see any movement of active clouds, and it was and easy task for her to forecast the future movements of this very cloud in my way. She explained that it was almost stationary. So: problem was solved, we will pass around the cloud on its north-eastern side!

Time to turn in for the kids and Karolina, while I switched on the engine in the weak wind and motored along into the sunset.

But there was one thing considering a Cb cloud as "almost stationary" when flying along in some 120 kts or cruising on sea level at 6 kts... Of course the cloud was "almost" stationary, moving only "slightly" and this being into the very same direction as we did. Not fast, but still with some 5 kts of speed. I could clearly see it on the radar as it changed shape all the time. Sometimes it looked like an elephant, sometimes like a monster with a huge mouth trying to get us, sometimes as a little chicken. I speeded up a little getting up in 7 kts under engine to make sure we would get north of the cloud before it got us.

Karolina, not quite asleep, yet, asked what was going on from its berth. Oh, nothing, I replied, I just speed up a little to pass the cloud.

We had now been on course NE for quite some time, despite our destination being in western direction and the cloud was still there in the way! If we only had waited where we had been a couple of hours ago, we could easily have slipped past the cloud on a direct course to our destination on the southwestern side...

Our way to from Denmark to Norway, via half way to Sweden, "passing" a Cb-cloud.

Now the kids and Karolina had woken up coming up to see how we are progressing. Jonathan was immediately at the radar, as usual. "Dad, why are you heading to Sweden, when we want to get to Norway from Denmark?". "Hmmm, I'm just overtaking that cloud, I said a bit irritated. "But Dad, the cloud isn't in the way between Denmark and Norway, it's here, right where we are!"

So I had to admit being defeated and gave up. 1:0 for the cloud (and taking into connsiderations all other times I was fighting with Cb-clouds, it is more likel 10:0). We turned norhtwest direction Norway into that cloud, now. Rain came pouring as if buckets were emptied over us. I could almost hear the cloud launching at us.

These situations give memories to laugh at afterwards, for sure, but I tell this story here to show how it unifies our family. We experience a situation together, where also the adults can make misjudgments. The respect being the captain is still to be retained, of course, but also a captain can make mistakes and this puts us all into the same boat, literally speaking. We all depend on each other, trust each other, love each other, living so closely together onboard.

At the same time, Jessica and Jonathan understand the direct connection between nature, action and consequence. The normally so complex world is taken down to its essentials and engages everybody equally onboard. Every task is regarded as important and I believe Jonathan was thinking his part about his father mixing flying with sailing. I am sure he believes he could have taken a better decision, but he didn't say anything, in respect for his captain...

An observation is also that for some reason, duties are not regarded as something negative, but essential and work is being done with pride by the children. At home, they could mourn about duties, but on Regina, Jessica and Jonathan seem to directly understand the importance of their jobs and do them with joy. Why else would they invest in a full day of cleaning and waxing the hull in Mandal? It became their hull, the result of turning their home into a beauty was thanks to them. They directly saw the consequence of their important work.

Jonathan taking his turn in the galley, preparing American Pancakes, an easy to make breakfast appreciated by Regina's crew.

Jessica and her friend Hedda sailing Regina all by themselves. Of course, we are close by with a hand, but it goes without saying that they were both very proud steering, sail trimming and navigating for some couple of hours in the archipelago all by themselves.

Taking full responsibility for the boat can mean both adventure and fun, or even danger. Here, Jessica is checking the rigging and anchor with several safety harnesses.

This year's new invention, the "REGINA-school" became a daily routine without us parents putting much effort into it actually. Jessica and Jonathan made up a scheme of "classes" they wanted to take and tried to fulfil these on a daily basis. Their list consisted of subjects, such as "maths", "reading", "log-book writing", "German" (i.e. speaking German with some friends or me, since I am half German), "drawing", "navigation", "boat handling", "cooking", "nature science" etc. A spreadsheet was drawn up with the subjects on one axis and the days on another and the goal of the day was to make as many "ticks" as possible, i.e. fulfilled subjects.

Jessica writing her log-book: For a the complete story in Swedish, see here. A nice writing book and a "fancy" pen, like this fountain pen used by German children, only to be used when doing "serious work", can make wonders!

Jonathan learning to read as one of his "subjects"

Possibly, it all sounds too good to be true, but at least last year it worked perfectly to cruise with our children during 8 weeks and 2300 nautical miles. The secret is to take time as it comes with the children, take them seriously and involve them in most decisions. Obviously there are times when an order is an order, but that has to be understood as well. Most often, however, decisions on where to go and how long to stay, can be taken jointly.

We don't know, yet, how it would be to sail for an even longer period, but for a summer it worked perfectly, taking step by step, avoiding hard weather and picking nice places.

Cruising has become our family's way of living. Our way of enjoying life. Our way of being together.

I wish more families could experience the same!